Divorce attorney discloses common blunders made by couples in the divorce process.
Hey there! Let's chat about some relationship advice from divorce attorney Padideh Jafari of Los Angeles.
This piece is based on an interview with Padideh Jafari, attorney and CEO ofJafari Law & Mediation Office. We've edited it for readability.
As a divorce attorney, I've seen plenty of failed marriages and pondered why so many relationships collapse. I'm a hopeless romantic but also a realist; I've been married for six years, and I spent eight years as a single woman following my first divorce.
I've worked hard to avoid the common mistakes my clients bring to my office. Here are some habits to break for a healthy marriage:
Make marriage a priority
Don't sacrifice your relationship for your career. This advice applies to both partners in a relationship. One of my clients, a musician, was often away on tour, which strained his marriage. He thought he was being supportive, but he was prioritizing his career over his family.
Similarly, don't neglect your spouse while focusing on your children's needs. Love and care for your children, but don't forget about your significant other. If you need time apart, like my nephew who watches his kids while he and his wife take some time for themselves, make sure you schedule it.
Steer clear of digital flirting
Social media is a breeding ground for temptation. From reconnecting with exes to chatting with strangers, it's all too easy to engage in secret digital flirting. I've seen this behavior ruin many marriages. Once you start checking your ex's profile, you've crossed a line. Instead of thinking about your spouse, you're mentally elsewhere. Stick to your own marital lawn and water it regularly.
Listen and communicate openly
Before I became an attorney, I studied communication. In both fields, I've seen people talk without really listening to their partner. This can lead to assumptions and misunderstandings that can create resentment. Try to be present during conversations, don't assume you know what your partner is going to say, and ask open-ended questions to understand them better.
Take your time getting married
Don't rush into marriage. If you're meant to be together forever, there's no need to hasten the process. Instead, spend time getting to know your partner in different situations and observe their interactions with others. Pay attention to their behavior, and make sure you're comfortable with who they are.
This advice is especially relevant for second marriages, which statistically have a higher risk of failure than first marriages. Marriage is wonderful, but it requires work and dedication.
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*Additional insights:
1. Be wary of obsessive social media monitoring: Avoid checking up on your partner's online activity obsessively, as this can lead to distrust and damage your relationship[1].
2. Recognize narcissistic behavior patterns: Jafari collaborates with experts like Jon from @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists to help clients identify toxic dynamics and address narcissistic traits that can disrupt partnerships[3].
3. Prioritize proactive communication: Jafari's legal practice focuses on mediation and collaborative solutions, suggesting a focus on constructive conflict resolution to avoid unnecessary disputes[4][2].
4. Plan for potential disputes: Her dual focus on divorce and estate planning implies a recommendation for early agreements on finance and responsibilities to prevent future conflicts[4][2].*
- Surprisingly, obsessive social media monitoring can lead to distrust and damage relationships, as advised by divorce attorney Padideh Jafari.
- In the stages of relationships, it's crucial to recognize narcissistic behavior patterns, as Jafari frequently collaborates with experts like Jon from @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists in her practice.
- Personal growth and relationship success often go hand in hand, as evidenced by Jafari's focus on proactive communication and constructive conflict resolution through mediation and collaborative solutions.
- Education-and-self-development and marital relationships are interconnected, with Jafari suggesting early agreements on finance and responsibilities to prevent future conflicts and ensure a harmonious marital lifestyle.
- Prioritizing proactive communication and understanding in relationships can significantly reduce the likelihood of marital disputes or, in some unfortunate cases, divorce, according to the insights shared by Padideh Jafari.
