Title: Elevate Your Leadership through Authentic Connections
Leaders substantially amplify their impact when they perceive others as individuals, rather than through the lens of self-interest or bias. However, leader self-perceptions can distort their views, subsequently leading to behaviors that erode trust and collaboration. This is according to Mitch Warner, Managing Partner at the Arbinger Institute and a contributing author of 'Leadership and Self-Deception: The Secret to Transforming Relationships and Unleashing Results.'
Shift your focus to acknowledging others' humanity and act out of genuine concern for their needs, Warner suggests. Doing so allows leaders to establish more profound relationships that yield superior results.
Trust Your Gut Feelings About Others
We have a natural, instinctive response to one another's needs, which is a cornerstone of community living. Warner remarks that "I know that I have needs, objectives, and challenges. I have this inner life that is real, and because of that, I know you have an inner life that's real, that you have needs and hopes and objectives that are as real as my own."
Leaders who disregard this intuitive response to assist others in achieving specific goals inadvertently deviate from the right path. For instance, you might sense that sharing information with a colleague would prove beneficial. However, if you violate your initial sense, compromising what might help that person, you must concoct a self-justification. This distorts your perception of the colleague, resulting in negative intentions.
This self-betrayal hinders an unself-conscious and unrestricted engagement with others. "If I see you as a person, then yes, I’m going to engage in more effective behaviors than I probably would otherwise," Warner explains. However, when you fail to perceive others as individuals, your propensity to manipulate and self-deceive grow.
Focus on Others Instead of Yourself
In general, Warner suggests that an outward orientation results in more productive dispute resolutions. "When we’re frustrated with other people, we assume that it’s the other person, right? They’re the sole source of my frustration. And the emotions that I’m experiencing clearly must be an outgrowth of this other person’s frustrating behavior," he reasons.
This bias is often unrecognized, as it's challenging to get an objective perspective on our role in a situation. Fundamentally, we tend to build a falsified portrait of our behavior – "If I see myself as superior, more capable, smarter, harder working—whatever the case may be—I will carry that view into other situations," Warner observes.
Our preconceived notion of ourselves drives our overreaction to any challenge, even if it's not a direct commentary on our competence or abilities. In such instances, we feel defensive, which helps preserve our false self-image.
Embrace Humanity in Your Connections
Warner emphasizes that leaders' habitual attempts to maintain managed images often hinder their effectiveness. He urges leaders to transcend these artificial self-concepts and connect with people authentically. This shift in perspective enables leaders to engage in more productive conversions that cater to the underlying concerns of their colleagues.
Leaders can begin to develop a more empathetic perspective by asking thoughtful questions, such as, "What is it like to live and work with me? What’s it like to be my coworker? What’s it like to be an employee of mine?" This genuine curiosity about the experiences of others fosters improved engagement and understanding.
In essence, leaders must prioritize understanding the wants, needs, and experiences of others to drive positive changes in their interactions and facilitate the creation of a more cohesive and productive team.
In the context of leading with empathy, Warner advises leaders to prioritize the careers of their team members by genuinely considering their needs and objectives. This approach can foster stronger relationships and ultimately lead to better results.
Furthermore, effective leadership requires recognizing the significance of selfless actions. By placing others' interests at the forefront, leaders can demonstrate influential leadership qualities and build trust, which is essential for fostering a harmonious and productive work environment.
